Funny blog I came across

textsfromlastnight.com
smh but lol


(845): i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

(626): I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.

(212): ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

(714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

(917): last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
(917): this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
(917): he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
(718): messed up. what color are the wings?

(313): All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
(517): Maybe you should learn how to spell write first

(601): Are you drinking alone?
(662): no, i'm watching house
(601): That doesn't count.
(662): wtf, then i'm always alone

(727): im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
(303): lol who won
(727): well im in the hospital right now so u tell me